Kitty in Exile -- Part II

Well, I survived my first weekend on my own. I'm really hoping this gets easier. 'Cause I'm not exactly expecting people to plan activities for me to fill up my time. Yes, I know, I can plan activities too ... that's not the point ...

It did end up being a busy weekend, between a callback audition Saturday, a birthday party Saturday night (that I sort of crashed ... only sort of, since I actually knew the birthday girl, and was invited last minute by a mutual friend), rehearsal on Sunday, and then hanging out at Kat & Chryste's Sunday evening. I'm still trying to figure out who thinks Whittacre is "abnormally shy and withdrawn". He certainly isn't around me, that's for sure! There's just something so precious about a 7 year old boy with an active imagination and way-over-average intelligence. Also fun was watching Clue, complete with narration by said 7-year old, and two 10 year old girls. Then completing the evening hanging out with burlesque performers creating new costumes mainly by gluing rhinestones on to various pieces of underwear.

So the loneliness is getting better, but it's still there. I can't help but realize that while I'm hoping this separation is temporary, I'm also aware, on an intellectual level anyway, that it might not be. I honestly don't know what to expect from Jason as far as outcome. Some days I feel very optimistic. Other days ... not so much. After all, he's had so much time and so many opportunities to make even the smallest of changes, yet he never does. My head tells me if we don't end up staying together, I will be able to handle it. My heart isn't quite so sure.

One thing I must admit I really enjoy is living in a clean, organized apartment, and not a place that has random crap piled up everywhere, and trash filled to overflowing, and a dishwasher that seems to need to be refilled and run every other day, and pieces of clothing strewn about everywhere, and never enough room to put things away. I definitely hold myself responsible for a lot of the clutter and chaos that is the Bellevue townhouse. Still, it's really hard to keep things neat and clean, or even want to, when the person you are living with just messes and dirties things up again and doesn't give a shit. And then yells at you for putting things away because he can't find them. And seems to think that every kitchen appliance and tool we own needs to be left out on the counter indefinitely.

I did see Jason on Saturday. I'm still serving as one of his "homework projects" for his massage therapy class. The 30-minute foot massage was quite nice. Next week they're getting in to shoulders. I'm definitely looking forward to that. But I am going to try not to go by the Bellevue place until he calls me for the massage practice. I think I have everything I need for now, but we'll see.

Oddly enough, I find myself wishing I could go out on an honest-to-god date. Granted, the few men I know that I think would want to date me aren't ones I'm interested in that way. And I am very much still a married woman. I'm just thinking how nice that would be, for someone to come pick me up, and take me out somewhere, and just have a good time getting to know each other better. Stupid, I know. And not very likely to happen.

On a happier note, I found out today that I will be working at Second Story Rep again -- yay!! Oddly enough, of all the possible outcomes I predicted for myself with equal probability -- 1) being offered the role I read for, 2) being offered a chorus role, or 3) not being cast at all -- I ended up with none of them. Instead, I was offered another (smaller) role than the one I read for, which I wasn't expecting. Still, it's a role, and a paid gig, and I really liked working at Second Story last year, so I'm quite pleased. Hopefully, I won't end up having to sing tenor on this one (though it is the same music director, so you never know ...) And if anyone besides myself is actually reading this blog, and got this far, the role is Cousin Hebe in HMS Pinafore. Show performs in April, though I don't remember the exact dates. Either 4 or 5 weekends.

At some point this next week, I need to check out the 24-Hour Fitness in Queen Anne. That's the next hurdle I need to get over. I really need to get back in to working out regularly. There's no way I'll be able to afford a trainer for a while, but since I'm still paying membership fees at 24-Hour, and can use any club in the area (or is it nationwide ... I don't remember ...), I really should avail myself of what the club itself can offer. Which is significant. And I feel so much better when I'm working out. I have rehearsal Tuesday and Wednesday, but I could go Thursday.

Okay, enough blogging for one night. Meow meow!